so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
