eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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