is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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