I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
