They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I want a musical about memes.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
