i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
