soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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