my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
