So drunk its hurt
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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