I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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