omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
