I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize