My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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