i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
