I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
