if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize