I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am naked and annoyed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
