Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
