I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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