well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Boobs speak an international language.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
