Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
