when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
