Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
