she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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