Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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