i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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