I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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