I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My dad is sitting where you rode me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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