Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
