Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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