it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
