The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize