I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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