All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
