You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
