just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
