We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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