Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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