The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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