I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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