I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize