i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
