If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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