it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
