trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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