my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
