My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
