I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
