what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize