Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
