I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
