I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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