remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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