This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
