So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
They have beer where we have blood.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
