I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
