Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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