I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
