So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
