I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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