he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
