just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Alive.
So much puke
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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