shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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