I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
